Two Sides of the Same Coin
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“Every truth has two sides; it is as well to look at both, before we commit ourselves to either.”
― Aesop
Last weekend, I volunteered at a weekend summer camp for families experiencing the effects of cancer. It was an incredible experience full of tears, laughs, struggles and connection. I want to tell you about a really powerful moment.
During a group activity, one of the moms got up to speak. She had been at the camp last year with her husband, who at the time was ill with cancer. In the intervening year, he died. She shared that when she was at the camp last year, she was full of anger. She was angry at cancer. Angry at the unfairness of it all.
Now, a year later, after the worst loss of her life, she shared that she could see another side of cancer. It was cancer that brought her into this community of support. She was grateful for the camp and for the chance to see so many people supporting each other through similar circumstances.
There’s no doubt that she’d rather have never gone through the loss. It’s a loss that will forever change her. I was struck by her ability to see something good coming out of something so hard.
It has me thinking about the stories we tell about our life circumstances. As tempting as it is to see things as purely ‘good or bad’, real life is more nuanced. Things are never ‘black or white’ and I find it really important to see the shades of grey.
The stories we tell about events (and people, for that matter) change the meaning we ascribe to them. Those meanings change how we feel about the events and people, and it’s those feelings that fuel our actions.
No matter the circumstances, we get to choose the stories we tell. The trick is to realize that we are telling stories and to consciously choose the stories that serve us instead of holding us back.
I’m curious - when have you changed your perception of events by changing the story?
Please comment below!
You can read about my new keynote presentation about the stories we tell at https://www.dantrommater.com/what-i-do/#speaking